I spent a week recharging with family in Texas – a few days with my mom and bro’s family in Houston and a few days with my cousin, Em, in Austin. While soccer momming it with my mom in Houston, I thought about how great it’d be to be closer to my nephews and a real part of their lives. I’ve only thought about Austin in passing as a potential home base years ago when just my cousin lived there, but with my bro’s family a three-hour bus ride away, Austin’s vibrant tech scene, and strong queer community, I found myself seriously considering and getting excited about living in a new place.
I love traveling for sure (and in some ways, the road feels more like home), but I’ve also dreaded moving back to San Francisco. For some reason, I haven’t felt like there are other options…I’ve lived in LA and don’t like the urban sprawl and driving culture, and other cities lack friends/family, proximity to Hawaii, cool companies, good queer community, or acceptable temperatures. Austin fits most of those except for the temperature, but I’m generally more resilient to extreme heat than cold.
A few days in Austin followed by a week in SF solidified my working hypothesis. There are definitely things and people that I love about SF, but I know it just doesn’t feel right. I’m negative and caustic towards the city, and though I’ve embraced change and even failure as a philosophical truth and lifestyle, I can’t for some reason walk away from SF. I have some sort of belief that I must stay in SF to prove something to myself. For me, SF is that hot lover you know is long-term incompatible, but the specter of breaking up makes it irresistibly attractive.
So, for now, I’ve limited the need to come back to SF (even though my tiny home / storage unit is there and continent-hopping requires some repacking). I’ll focus on traveling this year and see where the signs are pointing at the end of the year.
SF: a great time seeing friends, doing regular check-ups, and spending way too much money on everything!!!